Wedding speeches are often the highlight of a wedding reception and are a great opportunity to thank your guests for making the huge effort to attend your wedding abroad.
Traditionally, there are 3 speech-givers: the father-of-the-bride, the groom and the best man. However, traditions aren’t set in stone and it’s not unheard of for a chief bridesmaid, mother-of-the-bride or the bride herself to say a few words.
When should the wedding speeches take place?
- At the end of the meal – this is the traditional time for speeches to take place. Guests will be satisfied that they’ve had a healthy meal and the fact that they’ll have knocked back a few drinks might mean they’re more likely to laugh at your jokes! However, if you’re a speech-giver, try not to get too sozzled – you’ll be mortified if you watch back the wedding video and realise that you slurred your way through your speech.
- At the beginning of the meal – if you have some incredibly nervous speech-givers, then it’s a good idea to get the speeches out of the way quickly. It’s such a shame when a groom, best man or father-of-the-bride have to worry their way through a 3-course meal and not be able to relax and enjoy the day until they’ve got their nightmare chore out of the way. On the downside, you and your guests might not have had enough ‘dutch courage’ yet.
What order do the speeches take place in?
Traditionally, the order would be: a) Father-of-the-bride, b) Groom and c)Best Man.
However, this doesn’t mean that you have to follow this rule and it’s perfectly acceptable to change the order. It’s a good idea to get the speech-givers together and ensure that they are all comfortable with the order. You can also run through your speeches together to ensure that between all of you, you’ve managed to thank the correct people and aren’t telling any duplicate stories.
Handing out thank you gifts
It’s often a nice gesture to hand out thank-you gifts to both sets of parents (particularly if they’ve hosted your wedding), bridesmaids and ushers. A good opportunity to do this, would be during the speeches. When planning what presents to give, bear in mind that you’ll have to transport all these presents in your luggage, unless you buy local gifts. For more tips, please visit our Transporting Everything to your wedding abroad page.
How long should the speeches be?
Wedding speeches can be an extremely entertaining and memorable part of the day. However, speeches that go on for too long can really ruin the atmosphere of your special day, particularly if you have lengthy speeches at the beginning of your reception meal when the guests are starving! A good rule of thumb is that each speech should last for approximately 5 minutes. If you have extra speakers, then you might want to reduce each speech to 3 minutes.
What should be included in a Father of the Bride speech
It’s customary to include the following:
- Welcome all the guests and thank them for making the tremendous effort to travel to the destination wedding
- Tell a story (sentimental or anecdotal) about the bride and say how beautiful she looks
- Welcome the groom into the family and offer some advice about married life. It would be appropriate to tell a joke here.
- Toast the bride and groom
- If there is no master of ceremonies, you’ll need to introduce the groom.
What should be included in a groom’s speech?
- Echo the Father-of-the-Bride by welcoming everyone who has travelled to your overseas wedding.
- Thank the bride’s parents for raising their daughter so well and assure them that she’s in safe hands.
- Mention how beautiful your bride is and talk about the two of you.
- Toast the bridesmaids
- Introduce the best man
In general, the groom’s speech is traditionally sentimental and appreciative in tone. It’s fine to include a joke or two, but not essential if it’s not up your street.
What to include in a best man’s speech?
- Thank the groom for choosing you to be the best man
- Read out special messages from guests who are unable to attend.
- Tell some funny stories about the groom, or about the bride and groom if you know them both. Use your instincts on choosing which stories to tell. Weddings held overseas are less likely to feature elderly guests and children than weddings held in the UK, so it’s likely to be more of a young adult audience. However, if you have any doubts about the content of your speech, run it by the groom, or the groom’s parents if you don’t want to ruin the surprise.
- Toast the bride and groom
This is the speech with the most pressure attached to it, as traditionally you’re expected to be funny. It’s an extremely good idea to do a lot of research, plan your speech months in advance and buy a Wedding Speeches and Toasts book, giving you ideas and jokes that you can tailor to your own needs.
